NBA’s All-Alien team 09/10: Strangest looking dudes in the NBA
October 13th, 2009 | by joshbaumgard33 |
G – Sam Cassell
The squad’s leader, captain, and most skilled alien. Probably the most talked about player in the NBA not for his game, but rather his bizarre appearance. Stats: Starred in one of the highest grossing films ever in E.T.
Cloned from… E.T., everyone’s favorite alien.
G – Adam Morrison
Its all in the stache and maybe a little from the disheveled hair that hasn’t been cleaned since 89′.
Most definitely the grimiest mustache in all of sports history. It looks like it hasn’t been shaved in years and lord knows what types of little organisms are living in there.
Cloned from… A hybrid mix of an 80’s porn star and the kid from Almost Famous
What did ma do to deserve this, Drew?
F – Drew Gooden
He’s one of the aliens who simply brings it upon himself. Whether it is the puff ball hair on the back of his shaven head or his ______ beard (Fill in the blank because I have yet to think of an appropriate adjective for this ‘thing’ on his chin), Gooden brings his A game for the All-Alien squad night in and night out.
Cloned from… Unknown species, yet to be discovered.
F – Chris Anderson
“The Birdman” is a bizarre human being.He might be the most tattooed player in NBA history and his flamboyant hair never disappoints. Missed out on a few of his prime years because of drug addiction. Big shocker there. I hope Mom is proud.
Cloned from... A peacock and a white Dennis Rodman
C – Shelden Williams
And now your all-alien starting center for the 2009/2010 seasons. If his skin was green we all know what movie he would star in.
On a positive note for him personally, his wife is Candace Parker, who just might be the best woman’s basketball player ever.
If I’m Shelden, I give her a son as soon as possible, and reap the benefits from a kid that is sure to be an NBA star, not to mention giant.
Cloned from… Shrek of course!
Honorable Mention: Joakim Noah, Pau Gasol, Marcus Pollard, and Dennis Rodman for old time’s sake.
The always fierce Sheldon Williams
Chris Birdman Anderson
No Adam Morrison, you are not a Beatle
The King or should I say Queen of weird ITself, I present: The Worm
The fantastic hair-beard hybrid of Pau Gasol
Come back next year, Joakim!
The always bizzare Matt Pollard
By the big dog on Oct 13, 2009
very funny off beat article….it was a nice break in an otherwise hectic day…thanks for the fun..and this is all about fun….